Thursday, 31 March 2011

Day 5

0830h.  Sun. Snow. Ice. Ahhh...looks like spring in Alberta. March is leaving like a lamb. On a morning like this one, I just about forget my lack of chocolate surging through my veins. Just about.

1255h. Searching for sunglasses. Instead, come up with Hershey kisses in a tote bag and in the car. Why do I seem to have kisses everywhere? It's like an alcoholic who has flasks of vodka stashed everywhere. And why do I suffer from sunglass amnesia since the birth of my children? I cannot keep track of these sunglasses to save my life. Argh. Can I have some chocolate to help ease my frustration? Just a wee bit?

1256h. Still no sunglasses but take some deep breaths and avoid cheating.

1520h. Convinced there is a conspiracy going on at the office. Someone must be spraying chocolate-scented room freshener (Is there even such a thing? Make a mental note to google that.) It really smells like an Aero bar. Compile list of suspects who would do something so evil:

Suspect #1: "Tom" (office intern)
-presents a tough exterior, but beneath it, likely a big chocolate chip cookie (evidence: has pictures of his young nieces on his desk)
-has memory like steel trap and good researcher--could source such an air freshener

Suspect #2: "Callie" (office assistant)
-very efficient, knows where everything is
-enjoys sweet things, may be tempted to ingest freshener herself

Suspect #3: "Elise" (office manager)
-comes off as very sweet and nice but extremely shrewd tough cookie underneath
-perhaps thinks that driving me into a chocolate crazed delirium will make me overlook grossly erroneous paycheques (hence giving herself an unexpected "bonus")

Suspect #4: "Gary" (dead co-worker)
-loved practical jokes when alive
-supposedly haunts various places around town

Suspect #5: "Tammy" (office intern)
-very friendly and helpful demeanor
-working on developing her "inner bitch," recently assaulted youngster with a crochet hook
-seems determined to entrap me to cheat on this experiment

Suspect #6: "Larry" (alive co-worker)
-could not plan this without the help of his wife
-thinks internet is a brand of internationally acceptable fishing net; likely not even aware of my chocolate-free experiment

1525h. Still undecided on most likely suspect. Will do more research tomorrow.

1911h. Face the ultimate challenge: make chocolate chip cookie dough. Split dough in half: half will destined for chocolate chips, the other half butterscotch chips and coconut. You can guess which ones will be devoured by me this evening. While investigating the chocolate chips in the cupboard, debate about whether the chips are semi-sweet or milk. Really think tasting is the only way to know. Wonder if one chip counts? Hear voice of intern from office; "Would one sip of wine count for an alcoholic?" Yes it would. OK, I have my answer. Darnit--the smell of chocolate is intoxicating. Again, feel empathy for alcoholics. And why am I hearing voices now?

2050h. Marking darts on cute fabric for summer (well, truth be told, seasonless because it is a beautiful 100% wool fabric) sheath dress. Doing this now because I need to remove pins so that I can use them to pin knit cuffs to babysitter's jacket (arms have outgrown cherished dance jacket) and try to sew new cuffs to it. As I do this, I seriously wonder why in God's name am I doing this. No, not sewing (no, that's fun---I love sewing), why am I doing this suicide mission---no chocolate for another 25 days. I really want some chocolate now.

2053h. Darn cuffs are proving to be a bit challenging. Chocolate would ease my pain. Me want chocolate.

2154h. Just finished two large, warm from the oven, butterscotch-coconut cookies and a glass of milk. On most days, that would have been overkill and more than sufficient to satisfy my sweet tooth. Not today: still thinking about the chocolate chip cookie dough cooling in the fridge...mmmm--warm chocolate chip cookies from the oven...God, give me strength.

1 comment:

  1. Torture alert! I just lost a pound while in the process of eating a whole tub of Jamoca Almond Fudge. Is fudge chocolate?